Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Lord Neverember had one more piece that we needed to discuss before we go.
This is Elia.
When the Cult of the Dragon sounded the dracorn, many metallic dragons began to investigate and they wish for a representative to be sent to their council meeting in the Nether Mountains.
Sounds like we got a new list of tasks.
Yes, we are in agreement.
You guys have just stepped off the train at the Guild of the Nine Shadows.
Colonel Reginald Thermopolis is my name.
We will try our very hardest to help you, but you guys need to take the lead.
Thea, you bump shoulders with somebody and you turn and you look and you see a female elf.
She looks astonishingly similar to you.
What's your name?
Mia Thamastacia.
How long have you guys been here?
Do you not know about the parallel world shit?
No.
Oh Jesus Christ.
We don't have time to get in this now, but next time we'll have to have an exposition.
There's one of you somewhere else in another world.
You guys head back down to the train and Dancin' standing there waiting.
Dancin' fires up the train and you guys head off towards where are we going?
The Nether Mountains.
After a long travel, you wake up and you look out the window and you are mountainside
as the train pulls to a stop at the base of the Nether Mountains
where you are expected to meet the Council of the Metallic Dragons.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We are a 5th edition Actual Play podcast.
I am your Dungeon Master Russ More and with me today is a mega sized,
super special all-star cast of amazing people.
But we'll start with the regular people.
Not so special.
Carla Johnson.
Hey, I'm Carla.
I play Nulara Moonbrook.
I just waved because I can see your faces.
I don't normally wave when we're just doing audio.
And Tom Laird.
Hey, I'm Tom.
I play Flint Firebeard and I always wave even when we're just doing audio.
Oh, that's nice to know.
Right?
Amy More as well.
Yeah, hi.
I'm Amy.
I play Thea Anastasia and I sometimes wave, I sometimes not wave.
This is a good intro here.
Also with us, hopefully have some better banter with some special guests.
We'll start with Katie Mae Webber from Dungeons and Dice and Everything Nice.
Her thing just went off.
You broke it, Russ.
Katie, did you do that?
And instead, we're going to start with Keith from Bros and Dragons.
What's up, Keith?
Not much. I am special guest number one.
I will be playing Protanther.
Also with us, Victoria Rogers from The Broad Swords.
Hi, I'm Victoria.
I'm waving too.
Hi.
And I'll be playing the silver dragon, Otarlia Karnos.
Nailed it.
That was good.
That was beautiful.
It just like rolled off your tie.
It's so good.
Also joining us, Curtis Bolan from Dumbgeons and Dragons and Daughters.
Hi, everybody.
I'm used to being the dungeon master, so this is a fantastic chance for me to actually be a player character.
And I'll be playing Eluthroth today.
Wonderful.
And Katie, I'm sure you're recording and you probably did 16 intros by this point.
You guys hear me?
I feel like I'm going crazy.
I can hear you now.
Oh, my gosh.
This is the best news I've ever heard.
Hi, I'm Katie Mae and I will be playing Taz McKella.
Also joining us in a little bit, probably very shortly, so we better get this meeting rolling here, is Jeremy ALexa from The Dice Unkind.
He will be joining in a little bit, always late to the meeting.
So thank you all so much for joining us today.
Yeah, thanks.
Yay!
It seems like I've been planning this for like three months, but I know it hasn't been quite that long.
Because you'd feel more prepared.
Because I'd feel more prepared if that were the case.
And I still don't know if I'm quite ready for it, but that's D&D, right?
I sure hope so.
Yeah, I've literally never been prepared.
So no one's holding you to any kind of standard other than you, Russ.
Good.
I'm looking forward to this then.
Wait, were we supposed to prepare?
Nope.
Not on this podcast.
I only sent you a few notes.
It's fine.
Don't worry about it.
Raise your hand if you haven't read the notes.
No, just me?
I read the notes.
I can't be fired.
I skimmed it.
The marriage thing, right?
Yeah, this is a tryout for Amy's character, really, because she doesn't read the notes.
You know what?
You know what, though?
Your notes mean nothing to me.
And where I get mixed up is when you ask me a question about my own character.
That, I don't know the answers.
It's where we always struggle.
Yes, that's true.
So just because there's so many people here, let's just jump right in.
Fuck it.
Let's play some D&D.
Fuck yeah.
We join our illustrious travelers, our adventurers, our hired people for stopping the end of
the world as they arrive at the base of the Nether Mountains.
And you step off of the Guild of the Nine Shadows train after having traveled for
an unknowable...
Wait a minute.
Wait, is there trains in this universe?
I'm sorry.
Fucking train.
There's one train.
I don't think we've ever been on a train before.
I don't think there's trains in this world.
Sorry, I'm going to shut up.
There's one train.
No, it's fine.
Let's not change what we do now.
It's a wagon train, it's fine.
It's fine, yeah.
You've been pumping it to keep it going, that's fine.
But you've been traveling for an unknowable amount of time, having seen so many things
that you just can't even talk about them.
And you arrive at the southern base of the Nether Mountains.
You weren't given an exact location where to go, but you begin walking up and through
what looks like a clear path into the mountains.
And Francis and Flamingans are with you, of course.
Francis is with us?
No.
That can't be right.
Oh boy.
Banius?
There it is.
With us in spirit, right?
In spirit.
Yeah, in spirit.
Thaddeus and Flamingans are with you.
Flamingans tagging along to try and get back to Waterdeep to find a new ship to hop aboard.
And Thaddeus speaks up after starting into the mountains and he says, you know, you
should probably just keep our eyes and ears open.
The Nether Mountains are a known area for blue dragons and hobgoblins.
You don't want to be snuck up on, like you guys usually are.
Always.
You start up the face of the nearest mountain with what order are you going in?
I'll lead the charge.
I'll go next.
Or do you want to go in the middle, Fia?
Well, even if you do go next, Flamingans and Thaddeus can bring up the rear.
As always, let's keep the NPCs where they're most likely to take any arrows for us.
Yes.
Okay.
Let's do that.
You start up the face of the nearest mountain with Flint leading the charge there
and you're climbing up Flint and you're having a little trouble.
And Nularaaaa, you see swooping down from the sky a large hawk-like creature, kind of
blue and red, and it looks like it's diving directly towards Flint.
You give him a little push on his bottom?
Yeah, I guess I like, you know, shove him.
Not off the mountain.
Just like, hey, buddy.
Hey, huh?
Huh?
Pointing out?
It lands directly in front of Flint and three more of these giant hawk creatures
land on the peaks around you.
And the one in front of you, there comes a voice from, and you hear kind of a,
what you assume is, well, it's kind of a weird voice.
But anyways, it's like, you're late.
We're late?
Sorry.
Yeah, you were expected quite a while ago.
The bird's mouth isn't moving, by the way.
Well, if you've been expecting us, then you know we're late pretty much everywhere we go.
And the bird turns and on the back of the bird is a small gnome creature.
Fun.
And he looks down at you and says, look, we were told you were going to be here a while ago.
You've kept the dragons waiting.
They're kind of, you don't like to keep dragons waiting.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
Well, I mean, you know, we were doing all those adventures that we've been doing.
So really important stuff, really important stuff that we've been doing.
We're sorry we're late.
Yeah.
We have so many details about all the things that you've done.
So many things.
I can get into it point by point, if you'd like.
Dare we say you have done nothing in the last little while.
But anyways, hop on the birds and they'll take you where you need to go.
This is the best.
Mylar is ecstatic.
You know how I feel about flying on creatures.
This is like the best.
You hop on the backs of what you now recognize as giant rocks, ROC.
They take off and begin towards the peaks.
And after flying for a while, you make your way to what appears to be the tallest mountain above the clouds.
And you are dropped down into the caldera of what looks to be an extinct volcano.
And the gnome lands first and you land behind him.
He hops off and ushers them away after you all are standing in the middle of this.
He says, is there anything you guys need to know before I call in the council?
Because I've heard that you guys kind of just don't prepare for anything.
Who's the nicest?
Who would you say is the most easy-going dragon?
He looks and he says, probably Protanther and gives you a wing.
He's going to be your best bud.
Keith is shaking his head, so I don't believe you.
He lets out a loud whistle.
And after a few moments, you hear the thunderous sound of wings flapping and multiple roars that shake the ground you stand on.
And one at a time, coming up and over the edge of this volcano, you see four enormous dragons land inside the basin where you stand.
A copper, a silver, a brass and gold.
And they align themselves after landing and the ground shaking and crumbling a little bit beneath you.
And they align themselves in what you now recognize along the edges as carved out thrones.
In the side of this mountain.
You see them look to an empty space and almost shake their heads.
Dragons, you are looking around for your final member, Nimur, the representative for the bronze dragons, who is late.
Again, obviously.
Thea drops to her knees, like, you know, royalty.
Okay, yeah, Noir will follow suit, that seems like.
Are they still behind me so I don't realize they've dropped to their knees?
You're just like an asshole standing there like, da da da.
Royal perception, Flynn.
Thaddeus and Flamekins are, well, Flamekins is quite taken aback.
She's a small goblin and she's like, holy shit, what did you get me into here?
I pull her down the side.
The gnome steps forward and he calls to the dragons and he says,
These are the adventurers who have come from water deep and are supposed to help bring us together.
But I mean, they're late and they said they're sorry or something.
Anyways, introduce yourselves, please.
And he looks to you, the adventurers.
I'm new Laura Moonbrook.
Flint Firebeard.
I'm Fia Amastasia and I do like a little vow curse.
See?
Thaddeus is an older man and he stands up and he says, I'm Thaddeus Sikker Crumupl.
And Flamekins stands up and says, I'm Flamekins, I'm going to stand back here though because this is a bit much for me.
And then the gnome turns to the dragons and says, if you haven't heard of them, but please introduce yourselves.
The gold dragon, clearly the largest, leans down and eyes up the group.
I am Brotenthor.
It is good to meet most of you.
The silver dragon moves slightly to the side and her big gaping mouth opens up into a bit of a grin.
And she looks at all of you and says, my name is Otarlia Karnos and it's a pleasure to meet you once again.
Sorry, I'm trying to remember if we get it.
Don't get it because you guys don't take any clues at all, ever.
This is so true.
This is something that we don't do.
That is something that we don't do.
Okay, I guess I look confused.
Maybe as you're looking dumbfounded and confused, the brass dragon speaks up and introduces.
Hello, I'm Eleuthera.
It's very nice to meet all of you.
Do any of you speak Draconic?
That is the language I prefer to converse with all life forms.
Thea raises her hand.
Yeah, me as well.
Meekly.
Eleuthera also raises her hand.
Then Eleuthera would continue on in Draconic and say, once we finish up with the pleasantries
and the things that we are required to get through, I would like to hear more about each and every one of you
and how you came to be here and where you came from.
I'm also interested in hearing about the individual items that you are carrying.
I'm also very interested in hearing about your lineage as well.
But I do know that we are short on time.
So I'd only like to set aside perhaps a couple of days to maybe a couple of weeks for us to converse.
Thea looks at him wide-eyed and Draconic says, of course.
She starts looking around for the train.
With a bit of a side eye to Eleuthera, the copper dragon begins to speak.
Hi, I am Tazmichela.
I'm hoping that our meeting is equally as prosperous, but about half as long as he was saying it would be.
I like her immediately.
Yeah.
The gnome looks to everybody and says, well, I think you guys know what to do here.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely.
I'll leave it to you.
Second name.
BTW, name's Jerbo.
Just give me a holler when you need to go back down the mountains.
He got real sassy all of a sudden.
He did.
Yeah.
He's on a 15 now.
And he just takes a step to the side.
He doesn't go anywhere.
Well, obviously my fellow adventurers and I, while climbing this mountain, had a really thorough discussion about who would take lead on this conversation.
So we are ready to start.
But like maybe Thea, you're like, you know,
we're the most civilized of us.
So I'm not trying to like, volunteer you.
I'm happy to know.
No, it's true.
Like, it's true.
I come from I come from a highbrow, fancy family.
Exactly.
I'm essentially going to treat the dragon like royalty.
So with my my head bowed and in draconic so that Elucera is happy.
And obviously everyone else also speaks draconic.
So for some people in our party.
So are you guys.
I say.
Magnanimous dragons.
What could our humble group do for you and help to join our forces together and do some good in this world?
Russ, would I notice that there's folks in the group that don't understand draconic, that don't understand what she's saying?
Yeah, Flint doesn't understand what you're saying, and he often looks kind of confused.
So I'm not the sharpest tool in the drawer.
Thaddeus did not say that he knows how to speak draconic, but he appears to be following along.
And Flaming Kins is just dumbfounded.
So, yeah, you would probably recognize that Flint isn't following along when people are speaking.
OK, so I'd like to switch back to common then.
So I'd like to get your permission.
I can cast tongues on all of you so that everyone can understand draconic while we're having this conversation.
May I?
Sure, that works for me.
Yeah, I don't see why not.
Then I cast tongues on everyone so that everyone should be able to understand and speak draconic now.
Ilthara looks very, very smug and pleased with himself that he now accomplished an avenue for everyone to speak in the proper language.
Thank you, Ilthara, that was so kind of you.
What was the question again?
We are here on behalf of the Council of Waterdeep to try to build a bridge between you and us and try to work together to stop the evil forces that are trying to rip apart this land.
Let's do that.
You guys into it?
Pro-Tanther kind of almost glares down at Thea, says,
This bridge would be much easier built were it not for the actions of your people in the past.
I understand that my people have not always been the kindest or they have not made good choices in the past, but I beg you not to judge all of us based on the terrible decisions of a few.
Now does Thea know what he's talking about?
I think, I feel like she does.
But can you tell me anyway?
Roll a history check.
That's a 19.
Yeah, you know that what he may be referring to is known as the Drakoraj mytho.
And this was an area that was created during the time of dragons by Elven high mages.
And it encompassed an area of roughly 250,000 square miles.
And what happened in that area was it caused all dragons and dragon blooded creatures to slowly become more agitated and reckless and eventually becoming little more than raging beasts.
That area does not exist anymore, but it was because of the elves at the time.
Why did they do that?
Well, because they'd be bitches.
Just bitches being bitches.
Yeah.
So that was that was Elven action.
Yes.
We got an elf hater going on here.
Do I know what kind of elves created this Drakoraj mytho?
Not specifically.
Okay, so I don't know if it was like my people, my people?
I mean, you're from from the silvery moon, so you're higher up.
So yeah, it's probably like finding out that your grandparents had slaves.
Good God.
I say.
Like on Saved by the Bell, right?
Is this your reference?
Yeah, exactly.
Of course.
I say I cannot give enough apologies for what my people have done in the past, but I don't want that to stop us from moving ahead in the future.
If we cannot work together toward this, I fear we may not be able to stop the rise of Tiamat and it would all be for nothing.
I agree.
I'm less concerned about what your people have done in the past and more concerned about what your people could do in the future, which is where I'm still on the fence, so to speak.
Why do we need to work together?
Why do we need you?
We are more than capable of dealing with this threat on our own.
Great dragons.
We know that you don't need us.
I'm a mortal.
I'm a human.
I'm halfway to my grave already, but we have something to offer.
We have knowledge and we have heart and we'll try and we will suffer more than anyone if the nine gates of hell open.
So we are looking for your help, even though you don't have to provide it.
So you are the chosen representatives of your people.
You speak on their behalf.
Yes.
We say confidently.
They might not have thought it through.
That's fine.
Is there something particular that you would like from us or think we could offer?
At that point, the silver dragon stirs and she looks directly at Flint.
What could we want?
I know exactly what we could want.
Your people killed my niece in your dragon moods.
And you took her skin and made it into armor.
I want it.
And I want a formal apology.
I didn't know about this, but this is definitely something I can take back to Mithril Hall with me and try to get done for you.
Try is not good enough.
I mean, I can't just guarantee it.
Sorry, Flint, history check.
Check.
18.
Yeah, you know that the former king of Mithril Hall, you know him.
And the fact that he is in possession of this armor that you feel like is probably what is being spoke of now.
Sure.
So you know who it is, about where it is.
And you having lived in Mithril Hall, you've heard of Ambassador Conrad Brannenville, who used to be who was the former king of Mithril Hall, but now is just an ambassador for for dwarves, but have not seen him at any of the Waterdeep Council meetings thus far.
All right.
I know who currently has the armor, and I will make it a mission of mine to get it back for you.
How should I align myself with someone who wears the skin of my kin?
I mean, I get it.
It's not cool.
Yeah, you are just like awkwardly looking away.
It's ringing my collar a little.
I mean, I understand any trepidation towards helping the dwarves after that, but surely the sins of one point in time, although may not be forgotten, may be forgiven ever so slightly.
I have a question.
Do you have family?
Yes, yes, I do.
And if we were to skin them and wear them as an eye patch, would it be forgivable?
I mean, I probably wouldn't like it, that's for sure, but if there's a greater good situation to be had, then I might be able to look past that.
This is the worst.
I can't look past it.
And he's my friend.
Yeah, it's really not good.
I'll step forward a bit.
We are talking about the end of the world here.
So there have been travesties and insults that have happened in the past.
Again, not overly concerned about what has happened in the past.
I'm more concerned about what's going to happen for the future.
So again, I do ask the question, why do we need you?
I appreciate that you have hearts and that you feel like you could be an asset.
I don't like to go to war on feelings.
Do you have anything to offer concrete?
Can you even tell me the number of soldiers that you would have charging into battle with us?
Is there any information that you can provide to me?
Do it make me think our us being allied would be at all a competent decision to make?
We're small.
It's not just a battle to be won on the battlefield.
There's going to be need to talk to individuals.
Things need to try to be broken down from the inside.
Are you telling me that that you can solve this by strutting up and and just finishing it?
Why don't you?
Sassy.
Well, they said we could take care of this ourselves.
Why do we need you?
I also want to know why do you need us?
Why are we even here?
He is getting a little agitated.
It's very stressful for us.
He has had too many cups of coffee.
You say you say small, but insignificant is, I think, a better term.
I agree.
Fair. I'm just going to be the right woman.
Yeah.
I mean, it's it's you speak the truth.
We are insignificant compared to you, but we can still offer something.
We have knowledge and we have the ability to be convincing in a way that perhaps
creatures as intimidating as yourselves can't be.
What in your long years do you have to bring to the table as far as knowledge?
Oh, we have we have people.
We have people.
We have the order of the gauntlet.
We have the emerald enclave and the Lord's Alliance and and we have the vast armies
across Faerun ready to help out because this means something.
This is the this is the end for us and the beginning of something horrible.
Would you like to to live your long life to see that you are authorized to make
those commitments for all those vast armies?
Yes, sure, we are.
Why else would they send us here with with without the ability to make promises
we intend to keep?
These running off appear just balls right now.
You know, it seems true.
They wanted us to come and represent them.
So we must be able to, you know.
On this Dragon Council, I have the unique position of being really the only one
that is truly undecided on the direction to go in.
I can see a point to be made on either side on why we should align ourselves
with you or why we should try and go it alone because there are members of
this council that believe going it alone would be much more advantageous.
And a higher success rate.
But if there are people that are willing to help and give their resources to us,
I would think it'd be foolish to just simply pass that over.
However, I'm still looking for more concrete information to convince me to go
one way or the other.
And I haven't heard a good argument either way other than vast armies.
Oh, I've got it.
What do you have to lose if it fails?
A bunch of elven human dwarf lives lost.
Big deal.
Plan B.
It's actually kind of nice to know that there's a Plan B.
I'm not so worried about lives being lost.
I think everyone on all sides is ready to make that sacrifice.
I'm more worried about you arming these people.
You readying these people.
And then the rather human trait of betrayal comes in.
And I think that we need to make sure that you will keep your people in
line.
How do you not know that these many people that the what three of you are
going to keep on our side?
How do you know that your people are loyal?
You know, she's not wrong.
I know this is the problem.
Like, these guys are making some pretty good points, I guess.
But I mean, OK, so let's think about this logically.
Why would everyone be ready to take up arms against Tiamat?
This big problem we all seem to have.
And then turn around and go, but wait, there are these dragons.
Let's fight them instead, who are not causing any sort of issues or it
doesn't.
It doesn't make sense.
There's an immediate threat.
Are you worried about if after that threat is taken care of, if we will
not continue on to harm you?
It would be an interesting opportunity for you to rid yourselves of
dragon kind in its entirety.
I don't have a problem with dragons.
I don't.
Personally, I just feel like Tiamat is kind of a big deal here.
And the rest of it just I would hope.
God damn it.
Thaddeus speaks up after watching this train wreck.
And he says, I have fought with many of the armies on all sides over the
years.
And you're right.
We do have a tendency to look at our own interests and try and, you
know, just look what's best for us.
But I feel like in this moment, if there's something that we can do to
bridge this gap and bring the metallic dragons together with the
humanoids of Water Deer.
I feel like the end of the world is not a time that any of these people
would turn an eye or scoff at anything that you had to offer.
Even knowing your histories are jaded, not jaded, are soiled or tainted
by the things that we have done in the past.
We as a people, not as we as me, because I love dragons, all dragons.
Good save.
Good save, Thaddeus.
Thaddeus is a human, correct?
You got it, yeah.
When he speaks, when he finishes speaking, Otelio Karnos stirs.
The small one speaks correctly.
We must strike.
And I have lived for a long time amongst the people.
And at that point, her figure shifts.
And in like a kind of a brilliance of a silver light, her image shifts
and reduces to that of the form of Elia.
And we're all like, what the?
I have spent many of my years with these people.
And they are not quite as good as us.
But it is our duty to show them the way of Bahamut.
And I think having them on our side would benefit everyone and reduce casualties.
Because at what loss would we take if we were to venture on this alone?
The longer we wait, the more prepared they are.
If we were to act quicker, without waiting for them to ready their forces.
A quick, decisive strike would be our best bet.
We have come across some information that maybe they're more ready than maybe you think they are.
We've heard that they have all of the dragon masks all in one place.
I know anything. When you got all your masks in one place, the party's about to happen.
Classic saying, when you've got all your masks in one place, the party's about to happen.
Knowing that they are perhaps more prepared than either of us think they are,
perhaps it would be better to unite as one and go in as a united front,
as opposed to each side going in separately and perhaps not being as successful unless we're together.
But the enemy can't have all the masks yet, otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation.
It's just what a guy in a field told us right before he tried to kill some other rando who was on our...
A guy in a field.
Yeah. I mean, he was from the cult. Somebody else tag out?
Is this the valuable info you spoke so highly of?
I'm new.
You who are humans, I do not fault you. In your short years, you are able to wield much power.
You don't have the blessing of years to gain the wisdom to control it.
However, you elf, you have many years.
You have no excuse for not wielding such power with a tempered mind.
Well, in my very thin defense, I'm only 200.
And I went through this big rebellious phase with my parents. Technically...
As Tia is trying to justify her existence here.
Her teen rebellion?
Her teen rebellious years.
There was about to be a bit of backstory.
Was there going to be a goth phase?
A giant bronze dragon flies kind of helter skelter through the air and lands down in the middle of this meeting.
Jeremy, welcome.
Hi.
So we are amidst some very serious talks of where we're just slinging hot fire at each other here.
But you've shown up late.
Am I hearing anything over this? Am I hearing anything as I'm walking in?
Are you walking in or are you just like...
Like a big chicken, kind of?
That's kind of what I imagined when I was picturing.
I thought maybe you flew down.
I fly down, but I will choose to turn into a human form.
And I start walking. I do start walking up to sort of this central council.
Are they all in dragon form as I'm walking into this?
Elia has turned into human and I don't believe you said you turned back.
So there's one dragon who is in human form. The other three are in dragon form.
So you're in the middle of... Sorry, I'll paint the picture for you.
You're in the middle of the basin of an extinct volcano and there's huge thrones carved out of the side walls.
Where the dragons are seated.
Elia is the silver dragon. She is in human form.
And then the adventurers are kind of central in between all of them at this point.
Okay. As I fly into right before the gap.
About 20 feet before the gap in the circle of this dragon council, as you will in the middle of this volcano.
And I transform into a human form with long salt and pepper hair.
With very sharp features in leather armor.
But it is bronze colored leather armor.
And I'm walking up to sort of the place equidistant in that opening of the circle.
And I announce to everyone, sorry, I was in another meeting. That was dragon on.
Oh, no.
Thea laughed.
Oh, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, I think Elevati was needed.
Yeah, Thea is so grateful she can stop confessing to... I don't know what she was going to confess to do.
I was going to get into teams with my parents.
It's going to be a whole Degrassi moment.
Oh, boy.
So I walk in with that little icebreaker.
And I look at everybody and go, what did I miss?
I am interested to hear more about the dragon masks.
So it sounds like you know where they are.
We captured a former leader of the dragon cult who told us that the masks have been collected.
So that is the information that we have.
And you're right, I don't know why we can even be having this meeting if that's the case.
But they must still be missing something.
Where is this cult member now?
God, I can't remember. Did we kill him?
No, he's still being held.
He's offline naked. So I mean, he's scarred emotionally.
But I mean, other than that, he had a tough go of it.
Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.
He is being held.
We would be happy to turn him over to you for further questioning if that's what you desire.
What I would desire is a commitment from you
that all the dragon masks are returned to us.
And I think that you have actually already shown some value just by this conversation.
In just this brief moment in exchange,
you've already established that knowledge about the location of the dragon masks
and potential leads of gathering more information.
Before we even talk about the resources,
the armies, the training, the magic that you have to bring,
just through this conversation, we have come across useful information.
If they can be trusted, what can we do to earn your trust?
Or they what can they do? It's OK if you never trust me.
I understand. However, I want you to trust me.
My experience in dealing with the smaller races is that you all
you all have the same flaws, the same quirks,
but there are individuals within each of the races that do rise above.
And it's those individuals that I think that we should be looking to
as the example for the races, rather than the pettiness
that can sometimes come from the rabble.
What might push me in a certain direction is because you are able to speak on behalf
of the other races. If you can make the commitment on their behalf
that all of the dragon masks will be returned to the metallic dragons
because they are far too dangerous to remain in this world and have dwarves,
elves or humans know where they are. If you can make that commitment,
then I could see myself leaning towards
us joining forces. What would you do with the masks?
Take them to another realm? How would you stop humans or elves or dwarves
from getting them again? We wouldn't tell you where they were.
I mean, it's a good strategy. Sounds good to me.
We put them under these giant cups.
OK, well, I look at Flint and
Thea and I guess Thaddeus, but, you know, we only need him to save us
when we're floundering. We don't really take his opinion into account.
And like exchange looks because
like that certainly sounds reasonable to me. I don't think this is
like they're objects that are too powerful for
people, for humanoids to have. We're too easily
corrupted to have something so powerful. Yeah, kind of I see the logic
with that. I nod like I take your hand and I give you a
perfect. Then we can agree
to that, to that term. Excellent.
And I look around at the other dragons at the council and
kind of do a head nod and kind of a nudge in dragon form, which
probably looks weird with the gestures of trying to say lots of wings, lots of neck.
Progress is being made here. Look at what we've accomplished in just a brief conversation.
I, however, am still not convinced.
What can we do for you to help
well, any concerns or fears you might have working together?
You most likely nothing,
but there is something that I
desire. If you can wring a
formal apology from one who speaks for
your kind, I
would be more agreeable to your circumstances.
Okay. I don't see why that has not
happened already and I apologize for that not
having happened already. As I said, there is nothing that you
can do. I want a formal apology from King Melendroc.
Okay. Yes, I will
speak with him. We shall see. He's not dead
or anything. I can speak with King Melendroc. I can. I don't think he's dead. We'll find out next time
on. Who knows what happened between now and then?
He's a dick, right? He was a British dick.
He's Misty Forest, right?
We know him.
He's all a king and they're all royalty.
Maybe I'll have some sway. King Melendroc will agree to this
because he knows that we need your help and hopefully because he feels
real bad about all that terrible shit.
So I'm sorry. This will make you feel better, but not about me, but about the situation.
It would do a lot to put the past behind us. That sounds good.
Let's all look to the future. I will make it
my mission to do this. Not just because we need your help, but because it is
the right thing to do. But mostly because you need our help.
That too. I'm not going to stand here and lie to dragons.
We all need something from each other. Let's be free.
No, we need nothing from you. You just said you needed an apology.
Not from you.
Does anyone need
some weed?
I start to raise my claw up, look around, and then quickly lower it back down.
I blow a giant smoke ring down that encompasses everybody.
And we're all immediately high.
I mean, I came in like that.
For you, it's the equivalent of the
Dracarrage mythil. Now you know how it feels.
Hot boxing in a volcano.
It's my bucket list.
I look around at the rest of the dragons.
What can we offer you to convince you to join forces with us?
Are we speaking of reparations now?
I did smell a familiar magic upon your entrance.
Do one of you carry a bag of holding?
He walks forward like, this is not my day.
I nod apologetically, just like, I'm just immediately going for it.
And I take the bag of holding off and I set it down in front of
Tazmakella.
And I set the bag of holding down in front of her and back up.
No, she wants all my shit and then she gets it.
But we can remember what's in there.
Not my book, that's for sure.
Tazmakella, she picks up this
bag with her claw and she says,
This weave is familiar. It once held one of my favorite jewels.
It was unfortunately taken from me by one of your
kind, but I consider this a small step.
I do still want to make sure that we are signing on for one war,
not two. I do not want us to be preyed upon while we are weak.
We discuss only joining forces to stop the rise of Tiamat
with no further obligations upon one another
once he has been defeated and the Cult of the Dragon has been defeated.
And no turning against anybody.
I feel like this would be a great opportunity for everyone to move forward,
forgive sins and apologize for sins in the past
and start new relationships and a new world together.
I see their point.
As you say forgive, you see Protanther point to his eye
and then cover it.
You want one of my parents to wear as an eye patch?
My mom, man, I go for it.
She'd make a great eye patch.
Anybody else?
Is there anything Flint can do for anybody?
I'm here to help. Well, we did talk about the Dragon Mask, but what about the Drakorn?
We could also return that.
Nimur looks around as I hear about the Drakorn and he just kind of shrugs.
This guy is so chill.
This cool guy with his long wizard hair just shrugging around the place.
I imagine him sitting on top of this massive dragon throne
just like legs dangling.
You see the legs swinging a little bit every so often
forward and backward.
So that's a no for the Drakorn.
We don't care. That's okay. I thought that was a really good idea.
We'll take gifts that you have to offer. I don't see any of us saying no.
It would decorate my horde very nicely.
We can flip a coin for it.
Generally,
I would say tributes of magic and gold are always appreciated.
This is assumed, I guess.
If we were crooked cops, we'd be hinting at a bribery.
Greasing all the palms.
As I already stated, the remains of my kin
so that we can do the proper farewells
would do much for me to speak up on your behalf.
We can make that happen. I know the guy.
I can't remember his name because Russ said it once, but I know him.
You got it now, Tom?
All of that, yep.
You have already proven yourself to me.
Because we laughed at your joke, wasn't it?
Perhaps some way for you to keep better time.
A single watch.
Why were you late?
A while ago, our airship got blown up.
I give a sharp look
towards Protanther.
I look over at the gold pocket watch
and I point at it and I go, is that magic?
No, but it is accurate.
I look over at Protanther and I go, I was late.
I might as well try to show up to these things on time every once in a while.
Theo walks over and gives him the watch.
I had thought to scold the adventurers for being late,
but I couldn't because one of our own was late as well.
Then it seems I was the equalizer, if you would say, in this situation.
Yes, you bAlydince human scales very, very nicely.
Elia's just grinning.
I think they're going to throw down, you guys.
I look back at Protanther and I go, yes,
but all scales should have some form of influence, shouldn't they?
You speak truth?
Elia, give him the watch.
I walk over and I hand the watch.
Awesome. I pick it up and I look at it with my left hand holding the chain
and I start twirling it with my right hand
and I put it into a pocket on my belt,
and that's how parts of my leather get up here.
You see Protanther chuckle, says, congratulations,
your hoard has doubled in size this day.
I hear it's not all about the size of the hoard.
It's been a long time without a dick joke.
And I look over at Thea
and I point at her and I go, she gets it.
But like a sexy Thea wink, not like an awkward Amy wink.
Perfect.
Not allowed to do that in public.
Nemur looks at the rest of the council and he goes,
you have the support of the bronze dragons.
The silver as well. It is time that you learned from our example.
I say the brass dragons. Why not?
I am cautious. I do not trust you.
I give you my apology from him and you will have my vote.
You have the copper vote as well.
Should we all jump into the air at the same time?
Some sort of freeze frame high five?
Hello there. I'm your dungeon master, Ross More.
I really hope you're enjoying this episode.
We all had an amazing time recording with this wonderful cast of guests.
We recorded it a while ago and are just super stoked to finally have it out and available for you to listen to.
Just a quick side note. Very sorry for our audio quality, specifically mine and Amy's.
Apparently the computers defaulted to incorrect microphones when we were recording this huge call
and I didn't catch it until it was over.
Sad, but tech problems aside, this whole recording went so smoothly and was a blast to record.
If you're new to our show, welcome and thank you for coming.
Please check out our website for all the details on us and where to find us. That's dumbdragons.com
Dumbgeons and Dragons is on Patreon where you can support the show by joining our community at Patreon.com
You can have your say in how some of the events of the world come together by joining our monthly gook hangs,
contribute NPC names and even the chance to create a weapon, magical item or something entirely different.
Plus, after four months of being part of the Dumbgeons and Dragons Patreon community at specific levels,
we'll just send you some Dumb Dragon gear because you rock.
Supporting us on Patreon makes the show better with each episode and allows us to do new cool things for you.
We hope you'll go check it out and join us on the road to adventure Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon cast.
All of our social media links can be found at dumbdragons.com
So go check out the website and join, follow or like where you can today.
I'd like to take just a quick moment now to say thank you to everyone who was a part of the magic that was this episode
and give them a chance to let you know where you can find them.
But we'll take this time just for everybody to let listeners know where they can find you if they haven't heard from you.
So we'll just go down the list that I have here.
So we'll start with Jeremy because you came in last.
Okay, great.
I'm Jeremy and I run the Dice Unkind and you can find me at Jeremy ALexa or at the Dice Unkind on Twitter.
And then Katie.
All right.
Well, you can come find me at the podcast Dungeons Dice and Everything Nice at Dungeons Dice on Twitter.
You can find me at OK, Katie May on Twitter.
And then Curtis.
Hi, Curtis Bolan with Dumbgeons and Dragons and Daughters.
You can find me on Twitter at Daughter Dungeon.
We're on Facebook.
We're on YouTube.
We're on Instagram.
We're just about everywhere that you would like to find Dumbgeons and Dragons and Daughters.
And Keith.
Yeah, you can find me on the Bros and Dragons podcast as a player.
Go to Bros and Dragons dot com.
Also, you can find me personally on Twitter at Elmo the Usurper.
And Victoria.
Hi, I'm Victoria, the DM for the Broad Swords.
You can find us at the Broad Swords on Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter.
And you can find me on Twitter as Mimi Merleau.
And that is that is all that is all we did.
We did it.
Thank you, everybody.
Has it ever been done before?
Has there ever been such a big podcast of people in different places?
I want to know.
I'm going to find out if there's a reason after I edit it.
See how it sounds.
That's fair.
That'll be the telling.
I think we all know that the pain of editing these things.
I think that's one of the reasons why it seemed to go so smoothly today, because everyone was doing their best to not talk over each other or interrupt each other.
Because, Russ, we know your pain.
We try to minimize that as much as possible.
That's partially why I picked all of you, because you've run games and you run the podcast and have podcasts.
It was in the back of my mind that you might have an idea of how it should go.
Links for everything mentioned today can be found in the description below.
The next episode will be out June 13th, which will be the first of two special bonus episodes this month in support of Women in Tabletop Gaming Month.
And Amy, my lovely wife, steps into the DM's chair and weaves an awesome one shot that we can't wait to share with you next week.
Let's jump back to that mountaintop though and see how the team is doing.
Seems like they made some friends.
Have a great week.
We'll talk soon.
But instead, Thea says, we are very grateful for your help.
Without you, we would not be able to do this.
Thea finally speaks truth.
Sick burn.
Thea bites her tongue.
She's like, I'm not going to fuck this up.
Don't fuck this up.
Don't get dragged in.
Don't do it.
Nimmer shoots a look back at Protanther again of just this absolute.
Are you kidding me?
He's so mean.
I just ignore it completely.
I will kind of clap my hands together.
And I'll say, well, now if we've concluded what we needed to accomplish here, and I turn into a human form.
Now, I would love to hear about all of your adventures and how you came to be on Inside This Volcano talking to the Council of Dragons.
And do not leave out a single detail.
I need to hear about all of it from each of your perspectives.
Jerbo steps forward, the gnome for those who relate to the party.
And he says, you know, that's a great story.
But maybe you guys were talking before they got here about this stuff, if you liked them.
Now, I do think this is an important question to pose our council.
Do we send them away or do we send them away with aid?
Thea knows which one that she would.
Yeah, I mean, I got a vote.
If I had a vote, I know which I'd pick, but we definitely don't have a vote.
I will look downtrodden because none of those options included anyone staying behind and chatting with me.
Don't worry, they'll stay and chat with you.
Don't worry about it.
We got ways like six months before this episode goes up.
So we can talk all night.
Yay!
Perhaps after the war is won, we can come together again and share tales.
Exhaustively detailed tales that we definitely all know the details to.
Patreon bonus episode at Lutheran just talking for hours.
Weeks apparently.
I'll give you a cut.
Don't worry about it, Curtis.
Do you want me to just record like half an hour of me rambling that you could just do it?
Yeah, that's perfect.
AKA the end move.
I remember when I first saw light through the eggshell that I broke through.
Thousands upon thousands of years ago.
I can't tell if I love it or I hate it.
Thea sits down on the ground just like crisscross applesauce ready to lift.
We would love to be sent with aid.
I'm aware.
I didn't know what else to say in anything, so just thought I'd...
We did take quite a bit from them.
I will say that much.
I am not opposed to giving something to those that deserve it.
And I once again shoot a look at Protanther.
And I go, I believe we should send them with aid.
Yes, well perhaps you could give them the pocket watch back.
Then how would I be on time?
Oh, I don't mind you being late. It's rather nice when you're not here.
Oh, never stop coming on time, darling.
Protanther, are you offering to give half of your horde to them as well?
Unfortunately, no. They would most likely buckle under the weight of it.
So what do we mean by aid?
If it's simply giving them a trip back to wherever it is that they need to go,
I think that's something that we could easily accommodate.
I assume they want items.
Nymer looks and is shuffling around in his pockets trying to find something that he knows he had somewhere.
And finally, after checking three or four pouches on his belt, he pulls out two rings that jingle in his hand.
I'm sorry. Is Nymer wearing the cargo pants armor?
It's cargo pants of holding.
Cargo pants of holding. I need to write that down.
That's the best idea anyone's ever had.
The cargo pants of holding or the Batman utility belt of holding.
Or as he's going through all these pouches, he finally finds something and out comes a jingling in his hands.
And he gestures to Thea, who had just given him a pocket watch earlier.
And he gestures for her to come to him.
She walks over. I like this guy.
And he gestures for her to hold out her hand.
She does.
And he drops in two rings, these two iron rings.
And these rings are about 18 inches in diameter.
So yes, literally, it's like the size of your head sort of thing.
Okay.
And I explain, these are ring gates.
You can send anything between two of them instantaneously.
Thank you.
Hopefully in battle, these will become in handy.
If I punch through one side of it, will I?
Will your face appear somewhere else?
Yes, that is what I'm wondering.
Good question.
And I explain, sadly, only partial things do not go all the way through this portal.
So items, good. Fists, not good.
Correct.
I had to ask.
And be like, Flint, here, hold this for a second.
I am good at holding things.
Hold it up to your face.
Thank you.
I'm sure these will come in very, very helpful for the battle to come.
You see Protanther step down from this throne.
And as he's moving, he's slowly transforming as well into that of a very tall,
almost appearing elvish humanoid, but much more softer features, not quite as angular.
And I walk up to Flint.
And I pull out from my side a very large hammer and present it to you.
This is awesome. Thank you.
Use this with more wisdom than I'm sure your compatriots will.
You're probably not wrong there.
Yes. It's a much better gift than some fancy rings.
I appreciate it. I will use it to the best of my abilities.
Yes. Well, I won't hold that against you.
And with that, Protanther walks away.
I walk away.
I don't even explain what it does. I just walk away.
I will get the details from Russ later.
You're going to have to RP the shit out of that to find out what it does, man.
I, Keith, will explain it. It's a dwarven thrower.
It's a plus three attack and damage. When you throw it, it comes back.
Awesome.
It's Mjolnir.
It's Mjolnir. You just can't fly with it.
I will take it.
Elia walks down the steps that lead up to her throne because she does spend a lot of her time in human form.
So she has those there for her for ease of access.
And she approaches Nelara and she opens the inside of her silver cloak and she tears off a patch from inside it.
And she sets it on the ground in front of you.
And when it hits the ground, it takes shape and it turns into plate armor.
And it has a bit of a shimmer to it.
And she says, this will help you resist the lightning of the Chromatic Dragons.
Thank you. And I pick it up, I guess.
It's large. I'm just dragging it away, I guess.
It's in pieces and clattering behind you.
I'm dropping them.
Do you wish we still had that bag a whole thing?
I'm going to walk up to Thaddeus.
In my human form, my human form would be something, not quite a wizard, but something a little bit,
someone that appears to be a little more studious, someone that looks to be easily approachable and easy to talk to.
Obviously.
And I go up to Thaddeus and I'm like, Thaddeus, thank you.
It's for keeping the lines of communication open and bringing us to where we are now.
So to aid you, I offer you this.
And from my sleeve, I will pull out a magic wand and hand it to him.
He extends his arm and takes it from you and says, thank you.
I mean, I was going to talk to you anyways, but this is greatly appreciated.
Now, I must tell you how I came across this wand in the first place.
It was a couple hundred years ago.
Just one moment before we hear that story again.
Side conversation is going on while you're having another conversation.
We'll just have a murmur in the background.
At this point, Tazmichela comes down off the throne as well, shifts into the form of that of a young human child,
a small girl with orange ringlets for hair.
And she walks up to Flamiken's same height and produces three arrows from behind her back.
She says, I wouldn't let anyone forget you.
Dragons only, okay?
She looks up a little, kind of didn't notice you turn into a small child, but looks up at you and says, oh,
Thanks.
Dragons only.
Okay.
Yeah.
You got it.
Not you guys, the other dragons.
I'm new here.
And I used to be on a boat.
There was no dragons on the boat.
Is that Flamiken's default?
What are you doing here?
I used to be on a boat.
We haven't fleshed out Flamiken's backstory because that's in the next six months.
I'm feeling she'll say that a lot.
It'll just be a character thing.
But thank you.
She stands up and brushes herself off and takes them from you and puts them in her koi bird.
I immediately, after this little, after Flamiken's receives her arrows,
I look over at Thea with this absolute look of horror and wave you back over to come back over to me, to come back over to Nimmer.
Thea walks over like, yeah, you okay?
And I gesture and I reach out and grab the rings.
And I show her one that says entry and it literally says entry on the side and the other says exit on the side.
And I put I give her the exit and I take a small little knife out from my belt and I slowly push it through.
And on your side, you see the gap between spaces and you see the knife protruding through.
And then I pull it back and then I put the ring over my head and you see me stick out my hand just a little bit.
And I wave at you and you see my head coming through the ring and me waving at you on in your ring.
And then I take it back out and I hand it back to you.
So I can punch through this thing.
Sorry, it was it was different rings that did that.
I don't have those here on me right now.
Thank you. Hey, Flint, hold this for a sec.
Cut back to Thaddeus and Eleuthera and they're like, and that's what happens when you buy donkeys off of a goat's salesman.
Crazy because he was telling him how he got that magic wand turned into quite the deal.
They talked. Yes. One thing went to another.
The cult of the dragon is working very hard to raise Tiamat.
And so we must work hard and quickly as well.
You mentioned you would be able to send us back to where we came from quickly so we didn't have to scale back down this volcano.
Is that possible?
I'm going to ask you for that one last favor.
Gervo, he speaks up. He's like, you know, you know, we can we can probably just send them with some of the birds.
That's probably a good idea because I know you dragons are very, very busy and maybe we'll just send them with some of those those rocks and they'll be on their way and then they can fly around and baloney.
There's baloney in this world.
Trains and baloney. It's not it's not what you think, though.
Something totally different.
We're ahead of our time up here on the mountain.
Then unless there's anything else you would ask of us, we will take our leave.
There's much to be done.
I am interested in hearing more about this baloney.
Oh, don't you don't you worry, but I'll talk to you about the baloney when they go.
It's all good. Excellent.
The only thing I would add is do not make us regret this decision.
We will do our best to come through for you guys.
And the world.
Yes. Well, as I said before, I will not hold that against you.
You just said you would just can't win with this guy.
I know.
Nimr doesn't nod and lights up a cigarette and goes go kick ass.
Thea likes his style.
Yeah, I think Thea's got a new crush.
Little bit.
Yeah, this guy's right up her alley.
Oh, yeah. Long hair.
Doesn't give a fuck.
Yeah.
Dragon cargo pants.
All right.
Cargo pants.
Good God.
He is just like, I got to get out of this volcano.
Is it hot in here?
It's hot in here, right?
Keeping your pants off.
The cargo pants of holding are good, but it's not not quite as valuable as the fanny pack of carry.
Fair enough.
True.
That's like a plus eight charisma right there.
Oh, God.
Someone sees you wearing that.
It's just you get whatever you want.
I used to have a couple of fanny packs in my hoard at one point in time.
I remember when one of them was almost stumbled upon by these adventuring group out in the middle of the desert.
As Eleuthera is talking, you guys climb aboard the rocks that have landed and he's still talking.
He hasn't quite noticed that you've flown off.
That's why you always carry a second pair of shoes with you.
It feels like really rude, but I also get the feeling like I'm used to not being able to finish this story.
Yes. Yeah, agreed.
Yeah, I think we go good on them rocks and go back to wherever we came from.
With your new allies behind you, you mount the rocks and take off to the sky, taking a circle around the caldera before you head up into the clouds,
nodding to the dragons in your appreciation of their gifts and their word.
You head off in the direction of Waterdeep with new information and alliances to share with the council.
I'm imagining Nimmer walking over to Eleuthera as he continues talking, still with the cigarette and just walking up to him and just holding it and just listening to him the whole time
and just taking a bit from it every time, every so often to get a drag.
That's why guacamole and whiskey do not mix. I do never combine those things together.
Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
Same here. Did I show you the itty bitty little dice bag that I made for myself?
No, let's see it.
It's so tiny compared to the one set I made for everybody else.
Where's yours? I want a size comparison.
I beg your pardon?
The dice bag.
It's so off-putting when Russ makes this sexual joke.
Isn't it?
It's like I'm the one.
These are, that's not his voice, these are the adventurers that we represent.
That's the one.
I am pro-tanto.
Hold on. Hold on. I got this. It's been a minute.
What was the question again?
We are here on behalf of, oh fuck.
Yes, that's it. Thanks you guys.
He is a little flustered.
She hasn't been around.
This is how our podcast normally goes, so it's totally on point.
Russ, that's all that's out.
Hold on, I'm scrolling.
Anticipation is building.
I'm very excited. What does she want?
Give her a moment. Her iPad is very slow.
It's buffering.
Give her a moment, it's sinking.
She operated through the new operating system.
It's some optimal at best.
Well, it's made by Elves, so it's shit. Am I right?
It is. Am I right?
Thanks Russ.
That was out of character, but damn Russ, this is some grisly shit.
I think it's took a dark turn.
Things have been kind of going dark since Nularaaa is like, well, you know,
I'm half in the grave and now, you know,
my people have done terrible things to dragons.
Your people have done terrible things to dragons.
Who decided to send us here? That's what I want to know.
Why did they think this was a good idea?
We don't even know if we're small.
Russ is just setting us up to fail.
This whole thing is such a trick, so we look like fools.
We are small because, you know,
they could skin one of us and wear us as an eyepatch.
This is not just a war to be won on the battlefield.
I am certain that the council who is also aligning themselves
and getting the surrounding communities together to work together,
we will...
Make it, make it, make it.
We're drowning.
OK, so didn't you guys ever read Lord of the Rings?
I mean, the smallest creatures helped them win that battle.
Oh, my God. Yeah. No, exactly. Right.
I just...
I'm 25. I have no knowledge.
Out of character. Sorry.
Out of character at 25, you know everything.
That last one that I can't read, but something about save room.
NASCAR?
NASCAR. They have NASCAR.
They have base sponsorships they can bring to this.
They only turn left.
One race to settle it all.
No, one ring because they're...
It's going to be a whole fast and furious thing.
I love it.
OK, I like this. Yes.
Awkward silence.
Somehow I was waiting for Tom to jump in there.
I don't know why.
I know, right. Why would you wait for Tom to jump?
Tom, you got anything?
Just checking, making sure you don't want to have some fun.
You know what? I don't have access to my notes.
You have me on this computer.
My computer is over in the living room recording all of it.
Did you read the notes previously?
I have to use the bathroom.
Do you want me to do it, Tom?
I think I may be no.
This is embarrassing for people to see how good we are at this.
How good our memories are from one game to the next.
You've been on Bros and Dragons.
You know how it goes.
Yeah, and you guys were amazing.
We all have podcasts, we all know.
I play with nine-year-olds.
I bet you they have a better memory than my players.
I was hoping we would be a little bit better than the nine-year-old.
That's not happening.
I did offer you a ride.
Wait, no, I didn't.
Who did?
Someone did.
I don't think anybody did.
Perhaps it was that shady guy in the field.
They decided they wanted to go do other shit in the forest.
There was no ride-off.
Sorry.
Okay, sorry.
Ditch that.
I don't know how to describe this in a much smaller form.
Do what feels right.
Okay.
Follow your heart.
Just do what your body wants.
Seemed like the right thing to say, even though it didn't really make sense.
In the next six months.
Plot twist.
You're actually all dead at this point.
Am I ShyamAlydin taking over our podcast?
No, it's going to change our gameplay because now we know that Russ can't kill us for a little while.
What I can do is overdub the name, so if he dies, I'll just overdub with Edgar.
Mr. Black.
An affinity for the little red guy.
Why couldn't that be Protanther's voice?
It doesn't really strike fear, does it?
Especially when he's the mean one, it would have been so.
Like, berate me for being an elf, but say it in Elmo's voice.
Tell me you're going to turn my mom into an eyepatch.
I vote for us to just scrap this and start over.
Oh my god, this is so scary.
I just scared your mother.
I saw her on my face with an eyepatch.
Oh boy.
This is really terrifying.
I hate it so much.
I know, I sort of love it.
Going to have trouble sleeping tonight?
Listen, fear, fear.
Elmo watches you while you sleep.
You like what you see?
I sleep naked.
So, nightmares, I guess.
Welcome to the nightmare cast.
Dumb Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.